Ok. It sounds like I'm in over my head. I haven't used Linux for a long time, many years, I am beginning to remember when I used to try to install it on my PC before it was made simple, I had to mess with modprobe and configure many things manually. Now that I think of it, I'm not even sure how the boot loading works on Android tablets, it's not like I can just flash any Linux system like with a PC right?
You've all been very helpful. I think I'll give up here before going down the rabbit hole.