I was running the UEFI generic build with the 6.12 kernel and dtbs applied through the grub loader.
I didn't feel like going through all these hoops anymore and went back to the friendlyelec builds that work fine.
No vlan or driver issues there. Not what i really wanted but this is just to much weird issues.
Note: tried installing or running their kernel.deb that i have but refused to install. It complained about some board or machine info (in /proc) not being there. This dtb, DTS, dtbo thing is really sh*t and a shame on arm platforms compared to amd64.